Pep talks to myself are the only that keep me going through the hard times in life.
I shut people out because, I don't feel like they would understand or don't need me. I think about how awful of a person I am because I couldn't please everyone. I think awful things about myself, and the way I look. I let people control my emotions too much sometimes and I let people walk all over me, and under appreciate me. I worry about what I could be doing, or have done in the past.
Why me, I think. WHY. What did I do?
There are times that I get so down on myself it feels almost impossible to stand back up again.
"Get up and become the stronger person you think that you aren't."
POSITIVE. POSITIVE. POSITIVE. negative. negative. negative.
Life is full of mystery and so much unknown. No one knows. We can't see the future, but we shouldn't live in the past. It's hard to look forward without being obsessed with it.
"There is so something wrong with you. Normal people don't cry over this."
FALSE. It is OK to cry over things when you feel like crying. You are going to have broken hearts, days where bed is the only place you will be, and yet there are so many more days to live for.
"Breathe." It is going to be okay. Cliche yes. BUT true. Oh so true. In the end, the very end it won't matter who broke your heart, but the one who was quickly able to fix it. It is okay to have hope, because there is always hope.
There are always tomorrows, new beginnings, and better days ahead. True friends are the ones who love you endlessly, even through the times when you aren't a great friend. They never give up on you, and let you have your hard days, yet are able to point out the good days to.
ASK for help. Don't be afraid, and honestly everyone needs it. It helps so much, trust me. Sometimes it is hard because I am afraid of opening up and spilling my feelings out to people but sometimes it just happens. When it does happen, LET IT.
So what if I wasn't active in the church until I was a Junior in High School. I learned so much from going through that. I was judged because of it, and it literally ruined me. I became so obsessed with being accepted by the wrong crowds. It was awful. I learned that God loves me no matter what I had done or who I was. He cared about what I was becoming! I went to church because I wanted to go, not because anyone forced me to go. I love the gospel now more than anything. Love it so much.
I am turning 20 in a couple of months and I feel behind. I NEVER dated in High School, and I automatically thought that something was wrong with me. I have liked so many guys that I am afraid to fall for anyone now. I have been on 3 dates.Yet all the guys I have like have NEVER called me beautiful or complimented me, so again I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought I needed a boyfriend to make me happy. I was wrong. HA. Boys should make you feel like somethin else. Let's be real here, I want someone to call me beautiful, but I am not going to let that determine if I am happy or not. I will probably never settle for less, just because I think I deserve something special. It is okay that I am still single, and have never had a boyfriend. For heavens sake I am only 19!
I may not have the best grades, but I work DANG hard for the grades that I get. I am not the smartest or prettiest girl, but I am determined to do my best in things. In fifth grade I had probably the most traumatizing experience. My fifth grade teach thought that there was something wrong with me, that I had a learning disability. No. I thought I can't. She had told my mom that I was stupid and needed to be tested for a disability. She compared me to my extremely smart sister and asked why I wasn't as smart as her. I got tested. Nothing was wrong, I knew it. I couldn't believe what had happened. I still live in that moment not doing well on tests and convincing myself I am stupid. I have to tell myself to prove her wrong. It is my goal! I am doing this for me, because I am really able to. I can do anything.
This too shall pass.
It will be okay. Everything happens for a reason. You got this. Prove them wrong!
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