All that I have Learned.

Aloha my people,
        I know that it has been a really long while since I have written, and a lot of things have happened.
        My main purpose of this post is to tell you all the things I have learned throughout my years in college. I graduate this month, and finish Student Teaching in December so things are happening. I know that everyone has their own feelings towards college, friends, relationships, stress, anxiety and more. This post is my experiences and feelings so if you want to continue I encourage you.

1. You will gain best friends like pounds, but you could also lose best friends like your keys. I still think that friends are a big part of my life, they become my family while I am away from them. There are friends that encourage you and are always there for you, there are friends that hang out with you when it's convenient and everyone else is busy, and then there are friends who all of the sudden stop talking to you. Trust me I have and still am experiencing this, but let me tell you something you will find those friends you can still talk to like nothing happened even if you aren't in the same state.


2. You might watch someone you love, fall in love with someone else. This is a rough topic, but let's get real. You meet a guy and think yes he is it, then you start "hanging out" and you become best friends. You really want to tell your best friend they could be more than that, but chicken out because of the fear of being rejected even as a friend. Life moves on, they move on. And you might just watch them fall in love over Facebook. But I am here to tell you that it is okay. Obviously, they were not the one for you and then later you will realize that.

3. Your test scores do not define who you are as a person. Trust me. After all of the tests I have taken, it is hard to look past one test and move on to the next, especially if you don't do as well. Tests are there to see what you know, but they do not tell you how awesome you are, or how hard you might have studied. Having test anxiety is watching everyone take the same test as you which they haven't studied for, and pass. While you sit there dreading your score, staring at it with your stomach in knots and your self-doubt creeps in. I promise, you are still awesome, and you did try your best.

4. I can tell you from personal experience not to spend to much time alone. I've found myself isolated feeling alone, in my room feeling bad about my self and everything that I ever did wrong. Mind you I have done this to myself. Social anxiety is real. You make plans with someone, but then you start thinking about it "maybe they don't want to hang out with me", "am I a burden", "I don't really know the people who will be there." I have cancelled plans before, and I am sorry it's been more than a few. All I have to say is don't give up on us, keep making plans. Try not to bail on us because for me it becomes another thing to worry about when we don't do what we plan. I promise if it's in advanced you and me, I got this. Just give us some notice, tell us who is going to be there, help us get ready for that party or activity.

5. Doubts. Oh the doubts that I have had. I always doubt my decisions hence a couple weeks before graduation and a couple months before the real world, I have no plan. My doubts start with me, school, adult decisions, life, tests, faith and so much more. I will tell you that Satan is real. Oh is he real. I know that because when I am trying to make a good decision and put my trust in the Lord, Satan crawls into my mind and starts my doubts. I feel like I am doing my best in making decisions and not doubting them as much as I can. Yeah, I know, things work out. Advice? Just trust your gut! Push the doubt aside (if you can, cause I know it's hard) and do it!

6. I guess it's okay to still ask your parents for advice. I only say "I guess" because I am always asking them for advice. There are many pressures we face in college, religion, and life that asking advice is good. And sometimes its not what you want to hear (not from experience) but I know that advice will give you options and you will chose the best option for yourself.

7. You are awesome. Again with the doubt kind of thing, is self-doubt. Yeah you might date a ton of people in High School and College, and you might not. It doesn't make you less of a woman if you haven't. I know there are so many times where I've liked a guy, and he just seems so uninterested. I've always thought, "What is wrong with me? I am doing the right things. I have a testimony, I go to church, I do good things, I cook, I clean?" It's not about you. Well it is because you gotta learn to love yourself. Which can seem impossible, because I am still working on it. But just be your own you. Be your awesome self.