Life is interesting, and most of the time I only look for the bad things that happen because I feel like that there is more bad than good. But boy was I wrong. I had to change my attitude, I knew I did. It wasn't doing anything good, especially myself. I had to realize that I had to be positive for me, and no one else. My friends aren't the most positive, which makes life incredibly hard. Every day I have to think about what is good. And there is a lot of good things in my life! I am really blessed to have my family who supports me through all that I go through. I am able to work on my education, which somedays feels IMPOSSIBLE. But I know that it is not. Nothing is impossible.
I know for a fact that God put me on this Earth when he did for a reason, and sometimes I don't know what that reason is. But I know that it is what is right for me. In life plans change. Yes. They do, and sometimes it is really discouraging, but it all happens for a reason we just have to have faith. I can't wait for the one day that we are in Heaven we will understand why those things happened the way that they did. That will be the best day ever. :)
I've had and have times where I beat myself up, and I think horrible things about myself. But let's be real here, who doesn't. I don't like the way my body treats me (in being sick all the time), I don't like the way I look, I am too dumb for school, and so much more. RIGHT? I came to a realization though. Kind of like a rude awakening. God made you this way. He made you look the way you do and he made you someone who will love you throughout all of eternity. Pretty amazing, huh? I still have a long way to go with becoming this person that I will be okay with and I am okay with that. I feel that this right now, where my life is, where I am supposed to "find" myself and become who I really am. I am sooo thankful for my experiences here in college, because I feel like I have grown so much in life and in my testimony about the gospel.
I still get really scared thinking about the future, but when I focus on the now it helps me realize that this is what I need to be focusing on. When those bad and dark feelings come, trying to get me off the track that I need to be on it is scary. But putting my full trust in the lord. I mean prayer, is such a powerful and amazing thing. So use it! Talk to God because he knows, he knows what you have been through. He can help you and give you the comfort that you need.
I just want everyone to know that they all have worth, you and I. Life is a jerk sometimes but, we all can handle it because let's face it... We are STRONG children of God! Don't give up, because you can do this. I can do this. We can do this!
