Inspired Or Not?

      Life is rough. Love is rough. Thinking is rough.
This year so far has been a world win of every emotion you can ever feel. Being pulled one million and one directions.
All for not letting anyone down right?
Feelings are strong. Strong for the right or for the wrong reasons. How do we know?
Months have passed with no answers, which is the hardest struggle right now for me.
January was so good to me. I loved it. So many new beginnings and so many new friends!
And February was full of taking risks. Doing things that I have never done before, and putting myself out there, and becoming more vulnerable. Being vulnerable is probably my least favorite thing ever. Because sometimes your plans change. I like being in charge of my life, but I learned that God has a plan for me and you individually. Give your trust to Him.
I almost changed my plans on something that was never going to be. How could I be so unaware of what was right?
In March I had decided I was going to go to BYU Hawaii. And it would take a lot to stop me. I thought some one or something would. I realized that my three best friends were all going different directions, not to mention with their men. So, really what do I have to lose? Don't get me wrong but I need to go out on my own and learn more about who I really am and really what I really want.
But, I was wrong. I got an overwhelming feeling that my heart had been wrong, that Hawaii was the place for me. I am glad I realized that before I shut the idea out immediately.
I know its pretty boring hearing about my year, but it really has been life changing.
I realized so many things in just these three short months.
> I learned that the gospel is good. And at the end of the day sometimes that is all that I will have. But it never changes, and it is always here.
> I learned to take a risk. Even though it really didn't end up the way that my heart had hoped. In the end it was good. It was good because I had learned so much.
> I learned that I control my happiness. So many times before I just depended on people to make me happy. But really, I need to focus on me and the things that make me happy.
> I went to the temple the first time in forever! I love it, and I learned that it really is such a great place of peace. I have grown so fond of the temple.
> Sometimes life hurts your feelings. And it brings you down, but you know what? It is always possible to brush it off and get back up. Bigger and Stronger.
> I learned also, that I am far too young for marriage. I have my whole life+eternity just to meet my eternal companion. So really, I am in no rush! I realized that God's timing is perfect, and he knows me better than I know myself.
These are just a few things that I have learned.
I am soooo excited but so nervous for where my life is headed. I can't wait to be with my sister in Hawaii. I can leave and move on past all of the hurt that I have been through.
I am hoping, oh am I hoping that I graduate in May with my Associates. I know that I can do it because I know my angel of a grandma will be by my side every step of the way. <3 I can't wait to grow more and become a better person.